dear 📔 diary,ᵗᵒ ʷʰᵒᵐ ⁱᵗ ᵐᵃʸ ᶜᵒⁿᶜᵉʳⁿ:….

That’s a discipline and a way of living, where we are always connected to Spirit and living in that state.

It is accepting your Power and then accepting the responsibility that goes with that Power.

Excerpts by Dr. Steven Greer, MD/Hidden Truth-Forbidden Knowledge

dear📔diary, to whom it may concern: UPDATE!!!!! down below.

to the whom’s, whom may find this blog post, informative and or can relate.

currently, i am going through an awakening that is not only eye opening but a lil bat shit. when i say i haven’t slept in over 5 days. i am not in the slightest over exaggerating even though it is fun to do for story telling purposes. i am averaging 3 to 4 hrs a night. the real knee slapper is that it’s only for 30 to 45 mins at a time. so i am hoping you can see the dilema unfolding.

i am a healthcare care worker and have a part time job, i should be exhausted. NAHHHHH… the only thing that soothes me is being in water. when i am in the water i feel ONE, i feel connected. i can almost fall asleep. it’s like it’s my HOME!!! its as almost i can swim away to an underworld only i know the way too. but i am in my bath tub in a 2 bedroom apartment. so i am going to bet that the plumbing doesn’t have access to this mermaid 🧜‍♀️ underworld i envision and secretly desire.

i do a combi of hot and cold water on and off. and while i am in bliss. i do breathing work and certain yoga poses as i let the water hit my sore spots from lack of sleep. it flows so, like it’s what is needed. i close my eyes and listen to my body and how it wants to move. it feels AMAZING!!! and this high surge of utopia is cut short because then i feel sleepy. then 💥 BAM as sooon as i hit the hay. i am back to where i started like it’s Groundhog Day.

i feel like Goldilocks trying to find the perfect bed as i lay on the couch then venture into my sons bed seeing if his mattress will suffice. this rigid routine has been my nightly ritual since last wednesday.

after the third night of this mystery, that is my life. i entrusted in Google,the task of finding out. what the FUCK is this ABOUT?!?!?!

KUNDALINI AWAKENING popped up in the first 3 pages. for those who aren’t aware, this is a very powerful and intense energy serpent, yeah you read right. serpent, like a snake. so it’s coiled up like a snake in one of our chakras. when this is activated through mediation, yoga, masturbation, i KNOWWWW… come to find out that our orgasm is so powerful that we can use that energy for manifestation. we are all sexual beings. you should know your body better than anyone else. so go masturbate and be one with your sexual self. manifest some shit. think of all your dreams and get comfortable with your body and how you can make YOURSELF FEEL. just make sure you leave the house every now and then.

so i didn’t bring this on myself, i don’t think. i am educated in the subject and know of its power. The Divine has put material regarding this subject in my path for the last two months. i wasn’t being productive enough i guess. The Divine decided i needed a push. so this stage that i am going through now is what they would consider a “darker” stage. since lack of sleep can lead to psychosis, which is a scary state to be in. i am literally shitting my pants. no, honestly the waste that is coming out of me that was stuck somewhere is being released and i feel amazing. i still have a healthy appetite and drink plenty of water.

it’s just going through this process alone with not a soul to relate too, but threads of comments of those who Kundalini Awakened before me. that is what scares me because the lack of sleep has put my muscles in a vice grip. they are screaming and burning on fire. no position is comfortable for too long and then we play that game til the legit Sun ⛅️ comes up, and i eventually surrender and start my day. the fact that i am working a week straight without a day off, is the mood of life. like you hace to laugh 😹. instead i go in lil fits of tears and reasoning.

so back to not having a soul in the physical to relate. i am left explaining why i am randomly doing yoga poses in the break room and meditating outside in the sun in front of coworkers. they don’t seem to mind. but what does it really matter if they do anyway. everyone just looks at me like a weirdo when i start talking this stuff that even i do not understand.

so that is not to say that i am not grateful and blessed. The Universe and The Divine bum rushed me with this awakening, that i wasn’t even prepared for. i am not a fan of surprises and you would think that The Universe and The Creator would be aware of this since i never had a surprise party growing up.

UPDATE: i bought Melatonin last night on break from work. and ended up taking 20mg and even though i still barely slept again. the Melatonin calmed my nerves. this morning getting up wasn’t tooo bad!! even though i am working a week straight without a day off.

i have two more hours left of my shift nursing tonight. please send me some positive sleeping vibes. please and thank YOU!!

UPDATED: 7/12/2022

this awakening wasn’t all that i thought it was. it seems that maybe 🤔 just MAYBE….. someone still has ill feelings towards me and is sending me all this evil eye. after i finally surrendered and begged The Lord Jesus for some insight and a message. i was given the message that this was not Kundalini Awakening like i thought. it was a lost hurt 😞 soul thinking about me enough to create intent so negatively that pushed it on me.



wish even your enemies, abusers, and accusers, WELL……………………all THE TIME!!

the ENERGY YOU PUT OUT, TRUST you will get back. LIKE ATTRACTS 👍 LIKE!! that is just how the universe works.


negativity attracts NEGATIVITY!!

your thoughts must match what is in your ❤️ heart… mind, body and soul must me IN SYNC. if there is an imbalance, that causes the intention to not be clear!!!!

all of this can be done unintentionally. this means that this soul must have not only a constant but a consistent thought of me to be able to get to my energy.

souls don’t understand the consequences when these things are manifested because if they were even a bit worried about what can come back to get them later, i PRAY 🙏 they would digress.


if i wasn’t so heavily backed up by The Divine, The Creator, My Lord and Savior Jesus…. i could honestly see how people think of hurting themselves.

this energy was heavy, dark, nasty, envious, it wanted my mind, body and soul.

whomever was the sender. whether it was intentional or unintentional.



you are deserving of everything that is beautiful in this game called life. you can do wonderful things and empower if you looked within yourself and saw how truly BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE.


give your troubles the Lord and let him handle your heavy heart. do the work required to better yourself so you can break the generational curses that have held you back this far.


it starts with YOU!!!

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